Left home long ago? Seek connectedness in writing

Today’s concept of home can be blurry for some of us. In some cases, home is a place far away from your birth country. In today’s world, you can be displaced voluntarily or against your will from what you considered home until the time you decided to leave or were forced to do so.

It takes time to assume that you have been adopted into a new land. It involves learning from your new countrymen some of their customs and traditions. You do it out of respect and to be able to join in their celebrations. Meanwhile, your past rituals on anything from cooking to spending time with the extended family are left behind.

The novelty of your adoptive homeland at the beginning might fulfil your social and personal needs. As time passes by, though, it is very satisfactory to reconnect with your roots. One way in which you can achieve this is by remembering stories that reflect the happiness of your past. Make a list of what your birth country or previous homeland offered you. Writing a gratitude letter to the friends and relatives you left behind has a very powerful effect on your wellbeing.

Ripples from creative writing

I was very happy to learn that my first cousins - with whom I haven’t met in 15 years because I have refrained myself from visiting my birth country due to insecurity - were talking about my books during a family gathering. This was one of the many family gatherings I haven’t been able to attend due to being away from my previous home.

One of my first cousins I had not heard from in YEARS sent me a direct message commenting on how hooked she was with a book that I wrote three years ago. She said another one of my cousins had given her the book. She was pleasantly surprised and wanted to read more of my books. 

Three times a winner

It is the third time that a close member of my extended family connects with me again after years of being disconnected, after reading my first book. Somehow reading my autobiographical novel brought them close to me again or for the first time. Maybe the fact that I opened myself up in a book allowed them to discover the real me, and any misunderstanding was forgiven.

Your takeaway

If you are living away from home, I invite you to write about the happy moments you lived there. Share them with the people who are part of your story. And let their reading do the rest.

Surrendering has worked its magic once again

It is not the first time that I surrender my need to hustle. When it feels like I'm trying too hard, I pause, breathe and wait. And every time I've done it the Universe responds.

It's been a few days that I feel like I'm wasting my time in keeping my twitter feed full, programming book promotions, thinking of meaningful hashtags for my Instagram photos and commenting on other people's posts. My honest purpose is to connect with like-minded people and to grow my audience so that I will have an incentive to continue writing. After all, what's the point of publishing if no one will read your work?

It's Valentine's Day 2018 and I got a message request from a stranger. It's a note in Spanish, my mother tongue. Another Latina American woman living in Cyprus. She read my blogs and one of my books that resonated with her. She liked it! Suddenly my empty social feeds start to feel hopeful. I might continue to keep them alive and kicking, sharing articles that resonate with me in the hope that I will connect with like-minded people.

Remaining still allows you to listen and receive. Today I have received a new connection request from a person who felt identified with my writings. It also happened a while ago (September 2017) when I had decided not to have a writing project on the table. I was having a break and one of my ex-students (from my time as a Science teacher in Nicosia) called in with her mother, who had been featured as one of the top 100 successful women on this island. They both wanted to talk to me about my autobiographical novel. At that moment I felt that my novel had been worth writing.

What defines success?

If writing allows me to connect with members of my tribe, I have succeeded. I am the owner of my own definition of success. I just have to surrender the need to do more in order to fulfil the preconception that success is measured by the number of books you've sold or the number of interviews that have been published about them or you.

What makes it so hard to let things simply happen

A lifetime in school with a grading scheme that rewarded compliance, a working environment that pays salaries to follow a job description, a very underrated role of being the available person in the family, are some of the reasons why people today cannot enjoy the moment. We tend to always plan for what's next. We forget that we will die one day and that it could happen right now or tomorrow or next week, next month or next year. Even worse, a dear family member could die at any moment. Have we taken the time to simply BE with them?

Things can be taken away from us

Cyprus is the perfect example of how lives can change from one day to the next. Half the population of this beautiful island were forced to flee their homes, never suspecting they wouldn't be able to return to inhabit their villages ever again. Even if they solve the problem, those villages don't exist anymore. We all live unique experiences that can be more or less stable. 

The potential dangers have expanded from this ever troubled Middle East to the whole world. Terrorism's tentacles don't make it safe for anyone to count on personal security like they used to before September 11, 2001. Even a virgin territory like my birth country, where so many war refugees sought refuge during the past 100 years, is plagued with terrorist cells waiting in latency or simply growing quietly.

My intention is not to create more anxiety but to put things into perspective. Why hustle to achieve some predetermined equivalent to a golden trophy while neglecting our family, friends and not enjoying the beauty of our surroundings? 

Beware of the ego

Is my ego pushing me to have a social media presence? Is it my ego that drives me to write stories or blog articles?
I hope to be winning the battle over my ego and to use writing as a means to an end that will not resemble narcissism but rather connectedness. I DO want to connect with like-minded people. I believe it keeps me alive and happy. It is more a matter of living in happiness mode and improving my state of wellbeing. I don't want to live feeling miserable instead of grateful for what has been given to me. It is the only way to be able to make those around me happy.

Self-love is not selfish

In order to be able to give love to those around us, we need to have nurtured our feminine side. One way to nurture it is to spend time with our tribe. I hope you are doing so. I'm certainly enjoying welcoming new members to mine through the effect of having shared my drafts with the world.