Thursday 22 August 2019

Writing helps you unveil those secrets you weren't even aware of

We inherit trauma and family secrets. Yes, epigenetics is the science behind it all. Plus spiritual or holistic alternatives agree. Family constellations, shamans, healers and psychologists have revealed healing through "facing our demons". We can't remember the origin of some of our fears and traumas from a few years ago. Imagine having to deal with all the ancestors crap.



Well, unfortunately, family secrets from our ancestors come back as nightmares, phobias, obsessions, vocation and tendencies we cannot explain. We are not just born in a certain way, we are born into a particular story: the story of our family. Family constellation expert, Shavasti or John L Payne as an author, explains how people have been keeping secrets out of shame, guilt and fear since faced with the morality of religions.

Going back only one or two generations, cancer was as taboo as talking about sex was. Many women today had no idea that they were at risk of breast cancer because their mothers never told them what Aunty X had died of. And then there are all the cases in which one of the ten siblings killed someone or went to jail or the grandparent who ruined the family or the darker coloured grandmother. So many topics that have been kept as secrets from the descendants.

Every secret carries energy. The person who decides not to talk about it carries this energy constantly with them. If the person dies without sharing the secret, the energy is attached to the descendants. This can be explained in terms of activated genes through epigenetics. In the same way as memories are inherited, fear and attitudes can be passed on to the descendants too.

Writing is an excellent tool to release the energy of the secret. Even if you write under a pseudonym, once you hit "publish", the secret is released. It is healing for you and your descendants. Remember creative writing is a way to discover thoughts within you that you didn't even know were there. Some of them could be inherited family secrets.

The releasing of inherited secrets is another great reason to start writing today. Don't you think?


Thursday 13 June 2019

I was born tamed. What about you?

I have long ago stopped blaming my upbringing for my fears. I am convinced now that we are all born with particular traits that lead to decisions we make very early in life. So early we can't even remember.



After an exploration into my childhood feelings, I realised that I was born afraid of rejection. It was my nature to comply so that I wouldn't feel responsible for any conflicts taking place around me. I became a people pleaser as a means to be loved by those I cared about.

A by-product of my own mid-life crisis, I have come out a stronger person after nourishing my scared little five-year-old self as the adult motherly version of me. This is part of my own story that I wanted to share with you since I have realised that all the people around me have their own experience with their inner children.

Some of my friends were born warriors. I have a friend who is a bit over sixty and she remembers her five-year-old self holding a knife in defense of her scared mother reacting to a challenging situation. How can you explain this? She was born like that. No one made her react as the saviour of the family in the absence of her father. Yet, she has mothered her mother ever since. And still today, she hasn't been able to change the role she voluntarily assumed at such a tender age.

Different inherent personality traits are very evident amongst siblings who are raised in the same household. They are all exposed to the same parents and still react in their own particular ways.

Why is this important?

Realising that you made some early life decisions that might be affecting your wellbeing and your relationships with others, gives you the power to change in ways that will benefit you. First of all, you stop blaming your parents, siblings, teachers, etc and you assume your responsibility to deal with the behaviour or attitude. Once you define what you would like to change you can then work on healing the wounds you've been carrying for years and start working on the better version of yourself. 

It is never too late to change for the better. We should never stop growing as long as we are still breathing. Personal growth is part of being alive. What traits can you work on that will improve your life today? Let me know in the comments below or on social media. 

PS: It's great to be back on the blogosphere. 


Tuesday 9 April 2019

Rescue courtesy: It all starts with the small deeds

It's all in the little things. 

The word of the thousand meanings, thing, is used more as our vocabulary lessens. Just like our awareness of how our deeds affect the people around us and eventually will create the world we will be living in in the near future. There is no action too small to ignore.



It is a word like "thing" that can be useful in the context of giving the small details, like gestures of kindness, following the rules, being honest, reacting to strangers in need around us and the larger, more difficult attitude by which we live our lives, a common ground where to reconcile.

Today, like many other days in my past, I acknowledged the lack of awareness of drivers as they turn into a road, make a U-turn on the street or pull over to the curb to drop off their children at school. Many of them do not indicate.

Indicating is one of those "things" that seems small but implies so much more.

The tip of the iceberg

Every area has its peculiarities when it comes to driving and, failing to indicate, together with double and triple parking, have created an organised chaos where I live. Most drivers are extremely cautious in the vicinities of a school during pick up or drop off times. It is one of the few occasions in which I admire the patience of the locals, as they refrain from honking the horns they are so prone to using during any other hesitating act by the driver in front of them.

The lack of courtesy implied by not indicating is a warning sign. It is equal to other "irregularities" we become accustomed to as we live by the phrase "in Rome do as the Romans". The danger resides in becoming complacent. Once you start accepting that indicating is not necessary, you stop indicating and then, you have become one of them.

Becoming one of them

The masses are normally not aware of the consequences of their behaviour. The world is changing in many ways at an accelerating pace. We must stop and analyse our behaviour regarding the consequences of our actions towards our fellow human beings. It is as important as taking care of our own health and wellbeing. The small things can end up creating a place that is unsafe and unlivable. 

If I indicate, the drivers around me will know exactly where my vehicle is heading. Indicators are placed in cars for a reason. They are useful tools that can avoid accidents, in the worst case, and energy wasted wondering where this person is heading, in the best case.

Choose courtesy

Indicating is a sign of courtesy as much as it is useful for safety and avoiding chaos. When you indicate, you are being polite towards the other drivers and you are being a good citizen. 

Driving is just one of the actions we undertake regularly that affect our fellow locals. Other are queueing, creating noise, throwing rubbish, recycling, energy usage, paying bills and carrying out your tasks at work or elsewhere. We all have a choice in how we perform these actions in our everyday lives.

Complacency is a dangerous route to take. It can lead to unskilful authorities, foreign occupation and ultimately loss of a nation. 

No exaggeration. What are you choosing today?





Thursday 14 February 2019

14 February: just another day, make it special

Dates like February 14 have different meanings to each one of us. Life happens: some are dying today, fabulous Aquarians are being born, some are making love while others break up. Just another day on planet Earth that has been given a connotation related to LOVE and gifts. Flowers, chocolates and romantic getaways are in high offer and demand these days. Good for the businesses and for those who decide to reward themselves today.



Unfortunately, those who do not comply with the requirements imposed by the Love and Gifts label on "Valentine's Day" are reminded of what is missing in their lives. A quick check on the hashtag #ValentinesDay will show how many people dislike and even hate this date. If you are one of them, this is a reminder that you have a choice. Do not let despair get to you. If you are in the group of people "at risk" of feeling left out, purposely make the day special to yourself.

Celebrate the LOVE in your life, focusing on what you do have instead of what is lacking. Life loves you if you are healthy, strong, well fed, dressed, sheltered, in good company, engaged in a fulfilling job. You will not have it all at one particular point in time but you can make the most of what you have today. If you have a life partner, CELEBRATE. Do it your own way and enjoy the company.

If you are single, celebrate YOU. Self-love is the first step towards attracting what is best for your life. Whatever your status today, happy 14th of February.