I was born tamed. What about you?

I have long ago stopped blaming my upbringing for my fears. I am convinced now that we are all born with particular traits that lead to decisions we make very early in life. So early we can't even remember.

After an exploration into my childhood feelings, I realised that I was born afraid of rejection. It was my nature to comply so that I wouldn't feel responsible for any conflicts taking place around me. I became a people pleaser as a means to be loved by those I cared about.

A by-product of my own mid-life crisis, I have come out a stronger person after nourishing my scared little five-year-old self as the adult motherly version of me. This is part of my own story that I wanted to share with you since I have realised that all the people around me have their own experience with their inner children.

Some of my friends were born warriors. I have a friend who is a bit over sixty and she remembers her five-year-old self holding a knife in defense of her scared mother reacting to a challenging situation. How can you explain this? She was born like that. No one made her react as the saviour of the family in the absence of her father. Yet, she has mothered her mother ever since. And still today, she hasn't been able to change the role she voluntarily assumed at such a tender age.

Different inherent personality traits are very evident amongst siblings who are raised in the same household. They are all exposed to the same parents and still react in their own particular ways.

Why is this important?

Realising that you made some early life decisions that might be affecting your wellbeing and your relationships with others, gives you the power to change in ways that will benefit you. First of all, you stop blaming your parents, siblings, teachers, etc and you assume your responsibility to deal with the behaviour or attitude. Once you define what you would like to change you can then work on healing the wounds you've been carrying for years and start working on the better version of yourself. 

It is never too late to change for the better. We should never stop growing as long as we are still breathing. Personal growth is part of being alive. What traits can you work on that will improve your life today? Let me know in the comments below or on social media. 

PS: It's great to be back on the blogosphere.