Ideas on how to use writing as a therapy to heal from your fears, resentments and uncertainties. Use the power of visualisation as you create the ending to your own stories. Relive happy moments by writing about them. Sweeten bitter moments in your past or present in order to create a better future.
I Write To Heal on my Quest to Wellbeing
#WriteToHeal #QuestToWellbeing
I have long ago stopped blaming my upbringing for my fears. I am convinced now that we are all born with particular traits that lead to decisions we make very early in life. So early we can't even remember.
After an exploration into my childhood feelings, I realised that I was born afraid of rejection. It was my nature to comply so that I wouldn't feel responsible for any conflicts taking place around me. I became a people pleaser as a means to be loved by those I cared about.
A by-product of my own mid-life crisis, I have come out a stronger person after nourishing my scared little five-year-old self as the adult motherly version of me. This is part of my own story that I wanted to share with you since I have realised that all the people around me have their own experience with their inner children.
Some of my friends were born warriors. I have a friend who is a bit over sixty and she remembers her five-year-old self holding a knife in defense of her scared mother reacting to a challenging situation. How can you explain this? She was born like that. No one made her react as the saviour of the family in the absence of her father. Yet, she has mothered her mother ever since. And still today, she hasn't been able to change the role she voluntarily assumed at such a tender age.
Different inherent personality traits are very evident amongst siblings who are raised in the same household. They are all exposed to the same parents and still react in their own particular ways.
Why is this important?
Realising that you made some early life decisions that might be affecting your wellbeing and your relationships with others, gives you the power to change in ways that will benefit you. First of all, you stop blaming your parents, siblings, teachers, etc and you assume your responsibility to deal with the behaviour or attitude. Once you define what you would like to change you can then work on healing the wounds you've been carrying for years and start working on the better version of yourself.
It is never too late to change for the better. We should never stop growing as long as we are still breathing. Personal growth is part of being alive. What traits can you work on that will improve your life today? Let me know in the comments below or on social media.
The friends I had made in Cyberspace followed my change of course and one of them, Keri Jaehnig, asked me to participate in a Q&A session with her exclusive Insider's Club. Keri Jaehnig is the Founder and CMO at Idea Girl Media.
Shall you wish to listen to the interview, here's the unlisted link for you. A summary follows below.
Verónica: It was a consequence from events in my life from 2014 to mid 2015 that are summarised in this 30 second video.
Due to an introspection born from problems in my health, in my birth country Venezuela and my adoptive land, Cyprus, I decided to stop blogging about Social Media Marketing in April 2015. I wrote an article on Linkedin about this decision and many people reacted to it. The article's title is "The underrated commodity of being available".
Shortly after, there was a women's writing competition and I decided to expand on this article and other issues that I realised were bothering me. There was a target of 50 thousand words. All the issues mentioned above and in the video led me to write to organise my ideas and write positive outcomes to what had touched my soul.
Keri: Why did you write THIS book?
Verónica: There are 4 main reasons why I wrote this particular book.
It is an autobiographical novel, which is fictitious by definition. This allowed me to use my imagination and present idealistic outcomes to problems I was facing or people dear to me were facing. For example, the main character, Clara, an old lady who cannot talk or move. was inspired by a family member who went through that. I invented the Mind-Reader-Writing machine so she could communicate with her relatives somehow.
I wanted to write about my past as I felt my time was limited. I wanted to leave a written legacy to my children for when they were ready to find out about their ancestors. Since they are not growing up where I did, I wanted to write about my perception about my own upbringing.
I needed to start a conversation with like-minded people. I poured my thoughts and beliefs through Clara. Some of the issues have to do with parenting, success, Latin America's social inequalities, migrating and marrying a foreigner.
I wanted to pay tribute to the heroes fighting for Human Rights in Venezuela.
Keri: How did you make your choices on publishing electronically and in soft-cover?
Verónica: Once I found out that I wasn't long-listed on the writing competition, I felt the need to publish the book anyway. I had 50 thousand words in a manuscript and I really wanted to put the book out there.
Online search results suggested I find an agent or go home. There were also sponsored links from self-publishing agencies and I submitted my manuscript to them for free, They all answered, mostly to offer services costing an average of US$2000 to publish my book professionally and to get some exposure.
I also found ONE article with a thread of comments where one person stated that he always published electronically on Amazon's self-publishing platform for FREE. That led me to Kindle Direct Publishing. I started to share the link to my ebook on social media and used the #WriteToHeal as part of my branding.
Keri: How have you used social media in promoting your book?
Verónica: It started with my beta readers. I used to share some of my favourite passages while I was writing the manuscript and the positive comments encouraged me to carry on. I asked for suggestions and about 5 people were interested. Only 2 answered with suggestions and that was enough for me to complete the book. I took them from Facebook to e-mail.
I then shared the links to the e-book and the printed version for people to buy on Amazon and also shared comments from readers.
On Twitter, I used relevant hashtags and connected with other writers and people who share content about wellness and mindfulness, which are themes in the book. My handle on Twitter and Instagram reflects this: @VeroWellbeing
Keri: What if social media was not part of our world - How would this have affected the process?
Verónica: Without social media, I wouldn't have found out about the competition so I wouldn't have completed the manuscript. I wouldn't have found my beta readers who provided valuable feedback and I wouldn´t have had the possibility to share my book with so many people whom I wouldn't have considered interested.
Keri: Translation - What was involved? Why and how this happened?
Verónica: Spanish speakers on social media asked for a translation as the book was conceived in English. My father helped me with the first draft in Spanish. There was a lot of editing both in English and Spanish after I published the first draft. The current English version has been revised with the help of an English teacher.
In doing that, I realised that Spanish is the language for me to write in.
Keri: Is there another book in the works?
Verónica: there is a series of 5 books in Spanish about 4 friends who let go of toxic relationships to find more fulfilling ones. The first book has been completed and I entered it in a competition for Indie Authors organised by Amazon in Spain.
(There is a discussion about cover design here, around minute 35 on the video)
Keri: If you could do it over again, how would you do things differently?
Verónica: I would edit more before hitting publish.
Keri: Where is Verónica going in the future?
Verónica: I want to complete the series in Spanish. I am waiting for the books to be discovered by the people who could increase my exposure to the right audience.
I am blogging in Spanish to create a community interested in writing for healing.
I also keep my English social profiles updated with articles about wellbeing, microbiome, neurology and epigenetics.
I have a blog in English (this one!) on which I write occasionally, kind of 'on demand.'
There is a secret Facebook group for anyone interested on "Heal by Writing" for English and Spanish speakers. It will evolve depending on the audience as well. Let me know in the comments if you are interested.
In closing, I have learned that I cannot just throw messages into the noisy CyberSpace. I need to find my tribe.
